Oh The Random Silliness
by Artimus Knyght
Summary: Well are you ready for a story? A story of the weirdest two years at Hogwarts there ever was. A story that I can recount because I was there. please enjoy, please review, and be patient, Harry and Luna will get together.
1. Prologue

Just a bit of ... well ... Random Silliness. this will be a multi chapter story and i will be working towards a Harry/Luna pairing

I don't own Harry Potter or anything to do with him.

**Oh The Random Silliness**

"Well are you ready for a story? A story of the weirdest two years at Hogwarts there ever was. A story that I can recount because I was there. As an exchange student from Wales, from a school somewhere in the many valley's of Wales. A story so strange, that you'll wonder if anything was ever normal."

"Ahh now where should I begin."

"Well of course you should start from the beginning. I mean that's how a story's supposed to go. Beginning, middle and end. Seriously Everlyn, I mean how long have you been writing anyway. Now start from the beginning."

"But that's no fun Hermione. Besides, I wasn't there at the beginning, so there."

"Oh real mature. Now put your tongue back in your mouth before I hex it. And I meant from the beginning of fifth year when you arrived."

"Spoilsport"

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Why don't you start in the middle and jump around the story?"

"Because, Harry, I don't want to confuse my readers. That would be mean … ohh and totally evil MWAHAHAHA I like that idea, an idea worthy of the Marauders. Hmmm, maybe your mum didn't have an illicit affair with the milkman nine months before you were born after all."

"Huh?"

"I think she just insulted you Harry, or at least your parents."

"Not insult, never insult. It's just … I mean come on, he's definitely Lily's boy, he's got her temper after all, but he just doesn't prank like his father did."

"Hey, can you just start at the end? There's less to read and it's over with quickly."

"No Ron. While you may not be interested with what happened in your own life, I'm sure the readers are."

"Honestly Ronald, it wouldn't kill you to read every now and again."

"Ah forget it bookworm."

"Ron that's a terrible thing to say."

"Actually, I think he was talking to me."

"Why? I read just as many books that you do."

"But you read for fun, I mostly read for my studies."

"Ahh. Oh Oh Oh. I have an idea, a compromise if you will. I will tell the story in the sequence of events that it happened in, but I won't tell it like a story. More like a series of short stories that are all linked together. Everyone happy with that?"

"I'm Good."

"Me Too."

"Hey. What about my compromise."

"SHUT UP RON. I don't like you so you don't get a compromise. GOT IT?"

"RONALD GET BACK HERE. SHE'S NOT GOING TO HURT YOU. Right?"

"Meh. Depends on how I'm feeling when he gets back."

"Shall we get on with the story then?"

"Yes Harry, we shall. Now where was I … YES Hermione I know, The Beginning. Right. Anymore interruptions? I swear if one of you so much as breathes … No? good right then. The story starts when I arrived at Hogwarts …

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><p>Hope you laughed, please review and wait patiently for more Random Silliness. Be for now. P.S What house would you like me to be in, bare in mind i shall be close to the trio and their friends. then again i might just ignore you and go where i want to go any way MWAHAHAHA cough cough why does this keep happening 'sigh'.<p> 


	2. The First Few Days

I still don't own Harry Potter. If I did I'd be one of the richest people in britain and not JK.

Now read and be merry.

**The**** First Few Days.**

"And so, after a long 'discussion' with the Sorting Hat, he told everyone that I had given him a headache, which was impossible because he didn't have a head, and sent me to Ravenclaw. I sat down next to Luna and had a wonderful conversation with her, during which I offered to show her my pet Blibbering Humdinger …"

"Everlyn, stop making things up! You know full well that those things do not exist."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do Too."

"Do Not."

"Do Not."

"Do Too."

"HA! Thank you for agreeing with me." Everlyn looks at her with a smug smile on her face.

"That's not fair. You tricked me. And anyway, if they exist then why has no one seen one before?" Hermione raises an eyebrow and smirks.

"That's because no one is looking in the right place. Everyone knows that Blibbering Humdingers can only be found in the valleys of Wales."

"Really Everlyn?"

"ARGHHHH!" Both girls jump and turn to see Luna standing behind them.

"Daddy will be so pleased to see them, and maybe a tad upset when he learns that we've been looking in the wrong place for years."

"Luna, never do that again. Now can I get back to the story?"

"No because you didn't start from the beginning. You jumped straight to being sorted."

"Yeah, your entrance was really funny. I can still see the headline to the school newspaper. 'First Goth Comes To Hogwarts.' Ha."

"That's funny Ron, cuz I thought you couldn't read." There are a few laughs at Everlyn's stage whisper. Ron doesn't seem to have heard. "And besides, I'm not a Goth. I'm more of a Gemo or an Emoth."

"A WHAT?"

"A cross between a Goth and an Emo. I dress like a Goth, but I have no control over my emotions. That doesn't mean I'll burst into tears all the time."

"Why do I sense a but coming up?" Hermione looks upwards as if to ask 'why her?'

"Well … Let's just say to stay away from me when I start getting mad." Everlyn looks down at her shoes and becomes very interested with how her foot drags over the floor.

"I would have thought Ron had already learned his lesson, the amount of times he pissed you off."

"Can I carry on now?"

"Please Everlyn. Continue."

"Thank you Hermione. Now then … The first few days were quite boring so I'll skip them entirely. It was one week in when Fred and George … or was it Gred and Forge … oh well, whoever they were they pulled a prank."

* * *

><p>The twins were in the dungeons slaving over a hot cauldron.<p>

"Bwahahahahahaha … this will be the greatest evil plan … err I mean prank ever. What do you think, oh brother of mine?"

"Well first I need to do my evil … umm prank laugh. Mwahahahahaha. Yes, I think this is perfect, oh mirror of me. This'll teach the little albino prick not to mess with the Weasley twins again." They looked at the cauldron with undisguised glee and cackled. Then one of them stopped and looked concerned.

"You don't think we should test this first do you."

"Of course not. I mean what could go wrong?"

"Obviously your right. I'm sorry for my lapse in judgement my good sir."

"You're forgiven. Potion's done. Let's bottle it up and get down to the kitchens to set everything up." When they were done they went to bed and slept, dreaming of the results of the prank that would happen the next day.

When they awoke they ran to the great hall to get good seats for the show. They watched as their victims drank the potion that they had modified themselves and waited for the change. The first change came from Draco.

"God that tastes foul … hold on … WHAT'S HAPPENED TO MY VOICE? WHY'S IT ALL SQUEAKY?"

Crabbe and Goyle were squeaking away with their new voices too. They're victims at the Gryffindor however had started purring. 'Excellent' both boy's thought.

Suddenly everyone noticed as six students started to shrink and change form. Three became more feline and three became rodents. Do you get the general idea? Harry, Hermione and Neville, three of Malfoy's favourite targets, now chased the Slytherin 'rat' trio around the Great Hall. Finally Neville caught Crabbe, Hermione got Goyle and Harry trapped Malfoy. The three rats were then eaten by the cats and…

* * *

><p>"HOLD ON! THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED AT ALL."<p>

"I know, but the original prank has been done to death."

"Oh you don't know the meaning of the words 'to death' yet." Hermione pulls out her wand and Everlyn's eyes widen for a split second before she runs in the opposite direction with Hermione chasing after her screaming about the truth.

* * *

><p>Hope you enjoyed this chapter. The next one will be the actual prank. Bye bye.<p> 


	3. The Real Prank

I think I've said it enough times now, but once more any way, I do not own Harry Potter.

Enjoy and review.

**The Real Prank.**

Everlyn walks out of the hospital wing and meets Luna while rubbing her recently healed arm. The two start walking towards the room of requirements, where everyone is gathered for the story.

"I hate the hospital wing. Hermione had better not get a habit of sending me there. I don't want most of my memories of seventh year to be of that place."

"Maybe if you didn't manipulate what happened to make it more interesting she wouldn't have sent you there."

"But Ron does it all the time and she doesn't send him to the hospital wing." Everlyn starts to pout. 'It really isn't fair' she thinks.

"She's known him for longer. Just tone down the embellishments and I'm sure she won't send you there again."

"Yeah I suppose your right."

"By the way I've been meaning to ask you. Can you take my dad and me to see the Blibbering Humdingers? Please? And can I then keep one as a pet?"

"We'll see Luna." Everlyn chuckles. They arrive at their destination and slip inside. Everlyn moves straight for the furthest seat from Hermione. Hermione just smiles and waves innocently.

"She's insane. Then again so am I, so who am I to judge?" Everlyn mumbles to herself.

"What was that Everlyn?" Hermione starts stroking her wand, itching to use it.

"Nothing Hermione. So, shall I continue?" She receives nods all around "Okay then. Fred and George's real prank."

* * *

><p>"Neville our man …"<p>

"… May we request …"

"… A moment of your time …"

"… For a little something of yours …"

"… That we could use in a prank."

The twins had each put an arm around Neville and lead him to an unused corridor. He looked nervous, as anyone should be when dealing with the twins.

"I'm not gonna get in trouble, am I?"

"You, in trouble? Well possibly.

"You see we have …"

"…A score to settle …"

"… With the little albino prick …"

"… We were just going to prank him …"

"… And be done with it, but …"

"… Umbitch will try to blame Harry …"

"… As he is Draco's most frequent victim …"

"… And she really seems to hate him …"

"… Did you see his hand when he came in last night? …"

"… Well we're going to keep her busy with us for a while …"

"… And we've kindly volunteered Snape and the Slytherins to help." They finished together, grinning like mad at the sick and twisted thoughts of what they would do that flooded through their minds.

"Okay? But what do you need me for?" Neville was still a little nervous about it.

"You see Neville, old pal …"

"… We need your superb potions skills."

"What? What potions skills?"

"The skills where you try to brew one thing …"

"… And end up brewing something that's banned at the school …"

"… Throw in an incompetent Potions Master …"

"… Who won't throw away your potion …"

"… Because he wants it to be an example of your failure …"

"… And voila. One banned substance right on school grounds."

Neville caught on. They wanted his most recently botched potion. He shuddered to think just how they were going to use it, well he knew how, he just didn't really want to try to think of what prank was formulating in their heads.

"So what? Do you need my help to get it?"

"Not really …"

"… Just keep Snape busy ..."

"... While we go ..."

"... And grab some."

"Okay."

"Just out of curiosity …"

"Exactly what were you trying to brew?"

Neville mumbled something about not really knowing, and that he hadn't even tried to find out. Also something about Snape being a giant bat swooping around the classroom. The twins couldn't really hear.

The next morning the twins were at breakfast waiting for the fire works to happen. It started with Malfoy.

"Crabbe? Goyle? I love you so much. Let's not hide it anymore. Be mine forever." People were shocked not at what Malfoy said, but that he actually decided to come out of the closet. Most people thought there was something going on between the three and when Crabbe and Goyle nodded and said yes to Draco it just confirmed it.

Fred and George on the other hand knew it was the potion. They had wondered that if one hair made the drinker fall in love with the owner of said hair, what would happen if you added two hairs from different sources. The result was at the Slytherin table.

Most of the school turned to see what Snape's reaction would be to his godson's coming out, only to see him running towards Professor McGonagall professing his own love for the witch who was over three decades his senior. The Professor got up and moved swiftly out of the hall in an attempt to get away, shooting a glance at the twins on the way out.

The twins had originally planned to set Snape on Dumbledore, but two things stopped them. First was the fact that old Dumbles might actually enjoy that, and second was that the mental image alone had scarred them for life. Neither had the desire to see it for real.

Their attentions returned to the prank as they heard Neville confess his own undying love for Ginny and Ron doing the same for food. It was decided to prank Neville so that no one could blame him for the potion. And they had given Ron a potion without any hair in it. The potion therefore keyed to his greatest love, food. They'd done the same to Hermione, but as Hermione already had a well known love affair with books, there wasn't really much of a difference.

And then in front of them was Harry and sitting next to him was Luna and they were making out. That wasn't weird. What was weird is that they hadn't fed any love potion to Luna. Bloody girl was scary when she got revenge, not that you actually knew that it was her that was getting it. And while they had fed love potion to Harry, neither had seen him take a drink of the potion that was keyed to their head of house. They thought it would have been funny to see Harry fight Snape for her. Then they realised, the two of them were taking advantage of the situation to make out while everyone thought they were under the influence. If they got together after this, then the twins would get to keep all the money from the betting pool they'd started a year ago. All two thousand galleons of it. Everyone had been betting on either Ginny or Hermione, no one had even thought of little Luna Lovegood.

Soon order was restored and the love potions were nullified. Fred and George were standing and bowing to their audience who were very impressed. Even Hermione said it had been a good one, if some what begrudgingly. And then Umbridge gave them their detentions. Every night for three weeks, they thought that was a nice break for Harry. And if he did start dating Luna he wouldn't have to pay them back. The pool would do that nicely.

And then the doors swung open and in came a big, hairy monst …

* * *

><p>"Everlyn!"<p>

"Hagrid. In came Hagrid." Everlyn eyes the wand that's pointing at her head "Could you at least point you wand elsewhere. What if you accidentally hit me with a curse in anger?"

"We wouldn't have that problem if you didn't try to lie. Our lives are interesting enough as it is, without you making things up."

"But you let JK do it. I mean seriously, what twelve year old boy could kill a fully grown, one thousand year old Basilisk."

"It did happen."

"Prove it."

_Thirty minutes later_

"That is one big snake." Everlyn looks over the corpse of the Basilisk in horror.

"Told you so." Hermione appears a bit too smug. Everlyn decides to burst her bubble.

"Actually, this only proves that the Basilisk was killed. Not who killed it. HA! LATER SUCKER!" Everlyn runs for the entrance of the chamber before Hermione can hex her for punching a hole through her evidence.

* * *

><p>Well that's another chapter done. tell me what you think.<p> 


	4. Angels And Demons

Altogether now, after three. One. Two. Three. I do not own Harry Potter.

I'd like to take this time to point out that nobody is reviewing this story, I'm sorry if you don't think it's funny, buts that's not the point of it. It's meant to be Random, and Random doesn't always mean funny. With that said, please enjoy.

**Angels And Demons**

"Harry, I've got a question."

"Go ahead Hermione."

"When exactly did you start having feelings for Luna? I was under the impression that we had only known her for a week when you two started dating." Hermione frowns. She doesn't like not knowing things.

"Oh. Well, it started when she told me she could see the Thestrals I guess. Knowing someone else could see them made me feel better, less of a freak. But I wanted to know more about them. So I found Luna the next day and we got to talking. And I realised that she was probably one of the sanest people I've ever met. She wasn't loony like I had heard, she was just different. People fear what they don't understand, and no one had ever understood her. Sort of like me. We met up over the next few days to talk and the more I got to know her the more I liked her. And then I kissed her …"

"Cough' tell the truth 'cough." Everlyn looks innocently at Harry.

"Yes well I mean I would have if she hadn't kissed me first. After Fred and George's prank we thought why the hell not and started dating."

"Earned them quite a bit of gold too from what I remember. Right well this conversations getting just a bit too serious for my tastes so I'll ask a really random question that just occurred to me today. Have any of you every heard of or seen a female goblin?"

"No I can't say I have."

"Me neither."

"Uh uh."

"So if there are no women, where do you think they come from?" Everyone sits back in thought trying to figure it out, venturing guesses that are so insignificant that they need not be mentioned. Of course the best answer comes from Luna. And by that I mean the most random answer.

"Do you think they're transfigured from pieces of gold?"

"It would explain why they love the stuff so much."

"Everlyn? You can't tell me you believe that. I mean it's impossible."

"Nothings impossible Hermione."

"Can we just get on with the story while we're still young, and some of us still have our sanity?"

"Why of course we can Hermione. Any suggestions on where we start people."

Luna leans over to whisper in Everlyn's ear. Everlyn gets a sadistic smile on her face. 'Perfect' she thinks.

"Perfect. Now is everyone ready? Good. Now then …"

* * *

><p>Harry was sitting in the library at one of the tables with his back to the shelves. Fred and George had asked him to help on a prank that they would be pulling on Halloween and he wasn't sure. On the one hand he'd love to help out and to see the face of the person who was pranked, personally he hoped for Malfoy, Snape or Umbridge. On the other he could get into serious trouble and he'd been enjoying the time that Umbridge had been too busy spending with the twins to spend with him.<p>

"To prank or not to prank that is the question."

"You should do it. It will be fun." Harry jumped and looked to his right. Standing next to him was his girlfriend and she was wearing a demon costume, with the pointy ears and tail and pitch fork and everything.

"No you shouldn't Harry. You could get into a lot of trouble and hurt someone's feelings." He now looked to his left to see his best friend. She was dressed like an angel with the white robe, the wings and an actual halo. And then he realised that this was just his conscience trying to help him figure out what to do.

"But he'll have more fun my way." Luna said to Hermione.

"But what if someone got hurt? Then he'd never forgive himself." It was like they were cutting him out of the debate. He couldn't blame himself. He would not help matters by butting in on himself.

"It'll make Umbridge that nice shade of red you like Harry."

"And then he'll get in trouble."

"Who cares about trouble when you can live life?"

"You can live a nice life by the rules."

"A boring life more likely."

"What if someone gets hurt?"

"How many people do you know who have actually been hurt in one of Fred and Georges pranks?"

"What if he gets caught?"

"How many times have you known Fred and George to get caught before this year started?"

That gave Harry an idea. He would agree to help but only if they could guarantee both that he wouldn't get caught and that the victims deserved to be pranked.

He got up and headed for the exit after a quick thank you to his conscience.

"What's he talking about?"

"I don't know Hermione. Are you ready to go read angels and demons?"

"Yes Luna. Though I still don't know why we're dressed like this." Hermione gestured to their outfits. Luna gave her a look and sighed.

"Because it'll put us in the right frame of mind silly."

"Umm Luna? You do know that it's not about actual angels and demons, don't you?"

"It's not? Oh poo."

* * *

><p>"Wait a minute. That happened? That was real? I thought demon Luna and angel Hermione were figments of my imagination, created to help me make a decision."<p>

"Nope. Heh heh heh. Sucker. Right, it's late so we'll stop there for now. Next time will be the story of the Halloween prank. Now get to bed, the lot of you."

* * *

><p>I'd like to point out, before anyone notices, that I know that Angels and Demons didn't come out until 2000, but it was the only way to make the chapter work. I'd like to point out that it is currently three fifteen in the morning so I'm also tired. Just pretend it's some magic time enomely (i think i spelt that right). P.S. I also do not own Hamlet or Angels and Demons.<p> 


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